The Boy Who Played With Dolls
In April of 2022, when the world was still negotiating the limits and opportunities presented by COVID, I responded to an artist call for an LGBTQIA intergenerational project produced by “New Stages” as part of the City of West Hollywood’s Arts Division and the City’s WeHo Pride LGBTQ Arts Festival. The idea was to connect a senior artist (55+) with 18-30 year-old artists to create a short, filmed piece that would be shown during Pride month. Mark Salyer, the director of the project, randomly paired me, a then 64-year-old member of the Baby Boomer generation, with Dakota, a then 20-year-old trans masculine Gen Z person. Salyer stepped aside to see what form of art we would create.
My initial meeting with Dakota was on Zoom. In our first meeting, we were supposed to get to know each other and brainstorm some creative ideas. The meeting was uncomfortable at first because Dakota never turned his camera on, but he did talk. He shared that he was in art school and was studying animation. I slowly began to feel a connection and level of comfort because I shared that I loved animation since I was a kid and had longed to work on an animation project. Mark was extremely proud of the match because he had not researched our backgrounds. I shared with Dakota that I had once written and self-published an illustrated story called Sissy Sammy in the Land of We-Ho 90069. It is the story of a bullied teen who ends up in West Hollywood meeting a drag queen, a sex worker, and a butch lesbian and they help him to get to the transgender head DJ, at The Raging Queen nightclub so he can get a bus token to return to Compton. If this sounds a lot like the Wizard of Oz, you were supposed to make that connection!
As we brainstormed ideas, Dakota and I discovered that we were both doll collectors. It was like Kismet! I compare it to swiping on a dating app and getting a match the first time around! The other thing that made me think about dating apps was he could see my profile picture, but I could not see his picture. Remember, he never turned on his Zoom camera. I did a deep dive and googled him later discovering some of his beautiful artwork, but no images of him. Finally, I decided to just let it go, and respect his privacy, and honor his boundaries. We ultimately decided to create a short film based on a childhood story that I shared about my doll play experiences. One that ultimately influenced my journey toward becoming a doll collector.
Dakota and I had less than two months if we wanted to complete the project by June in time for Pride Month. Still, we aimed for a completion date during the last weekend in June because Dakota, as a student, had end-of-the-semester assignments to complete and his animation was time-intensive. I wrote the story quickly because several elements of the tale were already included in my other book, a memoir called Dreamboy: My Life as a QVC Host & Other Greatest Hits.
It was a team effort. I reached out to my friends at the Los Angeles LGBT Center to record my voice in a professional studio. They were very helpful once they understood what the project was all about. Mark arranged for a young lesbian filmmaker named Conner to document the first day of production for B-roll. To round out the team we were paired with veteran actress Kay Cole who created the role of Maggie in the original Broadway production of A Chorus Line. She was hired to direct my audio vocals. By the end of three sessions, Kay was happy, and I was over the moon! I could feel the story coming to life.
For our final day of filming, I suggested we meet at a local beach where I would bring some of my dolls and Dakota would bring his dolls. We learned that we lived very close to each other. I met up with Conner first and we searched the beach for Dakota. She had never seen him either. It felt a little like going on a blind date. Would he like me? Would I like him? How will we break the ice? Would he stand me up? This would be our first in-person meeting and he had been so shy and reserved in all our Zoom meetings.
Finally, we spotted Dakota at the entrance of the beach. He stood out because he had a backpack and wore sneakers with socks. Everyone else around wore sandals or was barefoot. We selected a quiet area where we put down a blanket and Conner just started filming. I need not have worried. Once we met, we could not stop talking. It was all so spontaneous. We played with our dolls for a while, then we got into Conner’s car to record answers to a series of questions Mark had compiled for the project. After Conner edited the final product, we all saw it online during Pride Month and I cannot explain the joy and pride I felt in that very personal work of art. Dakota moved from LA shortly after the project to attend another art college up north. I’ve kept in touch with Mark and Conner who have been talking about adding an original music track for the film. I am humbled and honored to share this project. It is my hope that other male-identifying doll lovers will relate.
